This morning I realized that I have bought some of those lies. For as long as I can remember I have always believed that I was not enough of something. Not good enough, not Christian enough, not athletic enough, not smart enough, etc... the list could go on. The devil has been lying to me and I have believed those lies. The Bible even calls him "The accuser of the Brethren,"(Rev.12:10) and all the time I could hear him accusing me. It must have started when I failed at something long ago, and a little thought crept in that I was not good enough and that is why I failed. I bought that first lie, took it home, made it mine. Let it sleep in my bed, night after night and fed it every time something did not go as I had planned. Every time, I was rejected in a romantic relationship, by a person in a friendship, by family, I watered it, and helped it spread its dark roots in my mind.
For years, I have never been enough....to me, to the person who it really matters to. This thought had taken up such a stronghold, that even when people praised me for being a great friend, caring person, etc.. I rejected their praise, because there wasn't enough room with all the tangled vines of the "not good enough" thoughts. It chocked out the positive. This poisonous belief has prevented me from attempting achievement in many areas of my life. The self-defeating mantra has kept me chained to past performance and failure. But today...today, I recognized it. There is a saying that the devil's greatest lie was convincing humanity that he doesn't exist. He hides, and he hides the lies in parts of truth, but when you finally see him and identify his tricks, you can't be held captive to it anymore. You can choose to ignore him, you can choose to not see truth, you can choose to stay bound to his lies, but you now have the option to free yourself.
What I saw today, has given me the strength to pull up those weeds. That "not good enough" lie, that I've allowed to grow in the garden of gifts and talents that God has given me will not be allowed to go with me into 2014. It won't keep me stagnant, it won't lead me to a cemetery of regret. Not anymore, I'm choosing to get off of that road this year, to get out of the boat, walk on water and believe what God has to say about me. That God will always love me despite my failures or bad decisions, that He is always with me, and that He has a great plan for my life and my steps are ordered by him. I'm choosing to believe this, in 2014 and I believe that will ignite the fire I need to reach every other goal. I hope you cut down your weeds this year and allow the gifts in your garden to bloom freely.